The Reflective Parent: Why taking a moment to think can transform your parenting.
Sep 29, 2023You’ve made it through another day of packed lunches, messy rooms and bedtime stories. Go you! But in the midst of all the chaos, have you ever paused to think about your parenting journey? I’m not talking about those hurried moments where you wish your kids would eat their veggies without turning it into a WWE championship. No, I’m talking about reflective parenting.
What is reflective parenting, anyway?
Imagine you’re sipping your favourite drink. For me, that’s a cappuccino my husband has made, because he always makes them better than me. Anyway, you’re sitting there, enjoying the aroma, the taste, and your mind starts to wander. You think about your day, your kids, your interactions with them. That’s reflective parenting in a nutshell. It’s not just about ‘doing’ but also about ‘thinking’ and ‘feeling’.
So why does it matter?
Builds emotional intelligence
When you pause to reflect, you’re also encouraging emotional growth – both yours and your child’s. Kids are like sponges. They pick up on your emotional vibes. By being aware of your own feelings and reactions, you teach them to do the same.
Adds purpose to your actions
Let’s be honest; parenting can sometimes feel like you’re throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping some sticks. Taking a reflective step back gives you a chance to look at the bigger picture and steer the ship in the direction you want it to go.
Creates a parent-child bond
Your child is going to make mistakes. Heck, you’re going to make mistakes! It’s all part of the parenting journey. Reflecting on these experiences turns them in to valuable lessons and shared stories, making your bond stronger.
Spice it up with self-care
Yeah, you heard me. Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days – although those are awesome too! It’s about setting aside ‘me time’ for reflection. Consider this your mental yoga session to stretch and flex those parent-brain muscles.
Just like that cappuccino, or maybe it’s a cabernet for you, a moments pause can be so refreshing and eye-opening. It’s in these moments that the magic happens, the ‘aha’ moments that make you go, ‘Wow, so that’s why Timmy has been acting out’ or ‘I never realised how much my mood sets the tone for the day’.
I remember one particular chaotic morning, though it was not an isolated incident. The clock seemed to sprint, my son was in meltdown mode and I had a full day ahead. In the midst of the frenzy, I felt my temper rise and my patience thinning. It was so easy to snap, to give in to the tension like I had so many times before. But then I paused, just a brief moment to breathe and reflect.
In that pause, I thought about how horrible I felt every time I dropped my son at school after a tense morning. How guilty I would feel during the day that this was the way we had started our day and I could not make it right until we got home that night. In that pause, I thought about the tone I wanted to set for our day, the example I wanted to set and most importantly, how I wanted my son to remember his mum. I chose kindness for myself and for him.
That pause, that moment of reflection didn’t just transform that morning; it served as a powerful reminder of the parent I aspire to be. It’s amazing what a moment of reflection can do. It can shift atmospheres and change attitudes. By sharing this story, I hope to inspire you to find your own transformative moments of reflection.
Your Reflection Corner
What was one interaction you had with your child today that you’d like to reflect on? What could you learn from it?
How do you feel your own upbringing has influenced your parenting style? Have you paused to think about it?
So, the next time you’re in the middle of a hectic day, give yourself permission to pause. Reflect. Maybe even jot down a few thoughts and share them in the community. You’ll be amazed at how it transforms not just your day, but your entire approach to parenting.
Ready to harness the power of brief, daily reflections? Get your Free Guide at https://www.theintrospectiveparent.com/5MinuteGuide
You got this!
Cheers to your journey
April
