mother and son, parent and child

The Echo Effect: Understanding how your childhood shapes your parenting style

Jan 10, 2024

Do you ever find yourself in a parenting moment and think, “Oh my gosh, I sound just like my mum/dad!”? Well, you’re not alone. Our upbringing has a fascinating way of echoing through our own parenting style. It’s like a song you didn’t know you knew all the lyrics to until you find yourself humming the tune. So, let’s dive into this intriguing subject matter today, shall we?

The Echoes of Childhood

Whether you grew up in a Leave it to Beaver kind of family or had a less than perfect childhood, those years are formative in more ways than we often realise. Our parents or caregivers were our first role models, and what we witnessed as children becomes the unconscious roadmap for our parenting journey.

Is Echoing Bad?

Not necessarily. Many of us have loving childhood memories and practices that we’re thrilled to carry into our own families. But sometimes, we also inherit beliefs or habits that might not be beneficial for us or our kids.

Breaking the Cycle or Passing the Baton

Recognising these echoes gives us power – the power to either continue the legacy or start a new chapter. Here’s how you can take control:

  • Self-Awareness

Be mindful. Whenever you catch yourself responding automatically in certain situations, pause and ask, “Is this how I want to handle this”?

  • Open Dialogues

Don’t shy away from discussing these echoes with your spouse, friends or even your parents. The more perspectives you have, the richer your understanding will be.

  • Be Kind to Yourself

If you do find yourself echoing a less than great aspect of your upbringing, don’t beat yourself up. Remember, the fact that you’re aware of it means you’re halfway to making a change.

Your Reflection Corner

What is one positive parenting trait you’ve inherited from your parents? Is there one you’d like to steer clear of?

Have you ever caught yourself echoing your parents in a way that surprised you? How did you react?

The New Echoes You Create

Remember, the echoes don’t stop with you. Your children will also carry echoes of your parenting style into their future families. So, let’s try to make those echoes as loving, healthy and empowering as possible. It’s quite liberating, really, to know that our past doesn’t have to dictate our future. We have the power to choose which songs to sing along with and which to rewrite.

Want a toolkit to guide your parenting journey? Download your free toolkit at

Sending you all the good vibes as you navigate the echoing halls of parenthood.

Stay incredible,


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